Of course, our Mother's will forever be a part of us. We shared their bodies for a time, and when we finally emerged into this world, we maintain a part of them inside us. What does that all mean? I am still unsure. But this past December, I think I learned something.
My Mom had parents, obviously, but I never really saw that. Seeing my Mom care for my Grampa, showed me how deep familial connection is. Family. As she sat at his bedside, holding this old man, I saw her youth, I saw that despite our complicated relationships with each other, all that is put aside, to do what is necessary. I saw my Mom as a child, sitting with her Dad. I listened intensely to her words. I watched them closely. I saw my Mother's faith as a Christian, something that I had always known about, but never really seen. I saw my Mom as a raw human. She showed me her humanness. And I am changed, because of it. I grew up a little, well, maybe a lot.
When one of us is hurting, she has taught me that nothing else matters. That is the biggest strength of my family. My mother has taught me this over and over again. My family continues to rise up for one another, in spite of all the other demands of the world, and it always works out - no one gets fired from their job, the house eventually gets clean, the groceries are eventually bought... She has shown me time and time again, that love conquers all, even death...
So on this Mother's Day, I love my Mom because she has shown me what it is like to be human. She has shown me how to let a parent go, how to let them die. I love my Mom because she gets passionate about things that matter to her. I love my Mom because she loves animals. I love my Mom because she gives me snacks and treats. I love my Mom because she let us eat in the car ~ a luxury she was not allowed. I love my Mom because she raises chickens. I love my Mom because she is relatively spontaneous. I love my Mom because she let me play dress up for far longer than I probably "should" have. I love my Mom for always coming to my play performances. I love my Mom because she always stood up for me (even when I likely didn't deserve it). I love my Mom because she gave me two wonderful and adorable little sisters. I love my Mom because she got divorced, and can relate to my pain. I love my Mom for showing me how to be with the dying. I love my Mom because she has shown me life and death. I love my Mom, I'll love you forever, my baby you'll be.
