End of the School Year

This time, it was different. This time, I felt something deep in my heart. This time, they moved me to tears.

It all came flooding over me at about 2:55pm, 5 minutes before the bell was going to ring, signalling the end of another school year. 6 years, I have been doing this, and the previous 5 had never brought me to tears. Year 6 changed that. Year 6 was the year I finally felt like I knew what I was doing in the classroom. This was the year that I finally felt like a teacher.

Thinking back on what the classroom was like at the beginning of the year: kids that knew their letters, but not how to blend them into words. Kids that could write their name, but not their thoughts. Kids that had basic math skills ready to build their foundation of knowledge. I was scared. The year before, I was so absent. Absent in body and mind. I failed before. This time, we succeeded. And "we" is the word so needed in this business of teaching.

I came to realize, on the last day of school, that this was the first year that I taught and I wasn't married. I didn't have a partner at home. I was on my own this year. With that said, over these last 10 months, I have built the most special, rewarding, exciting, and loving relationships that I have ever had in my life. I feel honored and blessed to call so many of my colleagues friends. We can laugh at ourselves and each other without fear. We can critique one another and grow together without guilt or shame. These friendships have changed me and helped me grow professionally as well as personally.

I can confidently say, that I taught these children how to read. I gave them a gift that no one can take away. I gave them freedom. I gave them hope. Don't misunderstand me, it has taken a village of teachers, counselors, principals, and parents to do this. I do not get all the credit. But I do get to stand proud as one of the contributors of this success.

So, at 2:55pm, I looked over the sea of little faces. I told them I loved them. Many of my kids come from rough homes and backgrounds. I worry that many of them are not told they are loved nearly as often as they should. I wanted them to know that someone loves them, I love them. We don't often talk this way as teachers, but maybe we should. Maybe the world needs us to state our truth of love. I love these children. I want the very best for them. Most importantly, these kids need to hear and know that someone in this world loves them.

With that sentiment being poured out, I saw one of my little ones crying, and then I lost it. Tears flowing down my face, my heart breaking, knowing that after the bell rings, things would never be the same. Sure, they will say "Hi, Ms Amy!" to me in the hallway, or smile and wave, but it will never ever be the same. They will have a new "Best Teacher Ever", and I will receive a new classroom to love. I savored their spirits, we hugged and cried together. And with that, I let them go.

This year, I became a teacher.

Children Remind Me of Our Humanity

As a teacher, I see all kind of behavior from children. They hit, they scream, they cry, and they can sometimes be generally awful creatures. Today, however, students in my class, reminded me that we can be so wonderful and kind.

I have a student who is fairly intellectually challenged. Today, he was crying on the playground. This kiddo had only cried one other time, and when he cries, my world stops. I mean, he is so happy all of the time! So it is very unusual to see him sad. I asked him what was wrong. He very timidly stated that his feelings got hurt. The innocence in his eyes, and the tears that streamed down his face showed that the pain he felt was real and sharp.

I took him in my arms, and felt his pain along with him. I told him that I was sorry that his feelings were hurt. I held him for a moment and then asked him if he wanted to play or stand with me. He chose to play. Not before telling me, "I need to wipe away my tears." I helped him dry his eyes with the sleeve of my shirt, and he then bumbled off.

As I watched him walk away, only moments later were little friends flocking over to check on him. One little guy put his arm around him, and I heard him say, "It's OK, let's go play." Another little girl went to him, waited until she got his eyes and looked purely into them and genuinely asked "Are you, OK?"These little people, all caring for this wounded soul. Truly, almost every child checked in with him, patted him on the back, gave him a hug, smiled at him. They took care of him.

My heart melted with adoration, pride, and warmth, for the simple sweetness of children. These little ones displayed such compassion and empathy that I rarely see in adults, and they did it without prompting, without pride, without wanting anything in return. They did it from a place of unbridled love.

We could all learn from them.

I am a Teacher

Recently, there was a Teacher March in Washington, DC for a "Save our Schools" rally. I didn't even know such a thing was happening. I think the realization of this event, and how I didn't know about it, is what many teachers feel when new legislation is passed, new testing requirements come down the pipeline, and new curriculum is is decided. Teachers seldom have a real voice at the table.  Politicians, text-book companies, testing companies ~ they all have a very loud and influential voice, and it's time that people in the actual profession of teaching start raising their voices!

Why did I choose to be a teacher? The simple fact is that without an education, I would be going nowhere, fast.  I had good teachers, bad teachers, nice teachers, & mean teachers.  In addition to academics, they all taught me something about myself! And it was those lessons that influenced me and helped shape me into the person I am today, the person who decided to be a teacher.

The American Public School system is being severely threatened, and in some states, dismantling them. The republican/conservative/tea-party agenda is hard at work attempting to convince the American people that public education is wrong and that it is the teachers fault for "failing" students.  When it is those same people who continue to vote time and time again to take funds away from public schools - or - vote to not increase taxes which would better fund schools.  All of this leads to a failing system, and it is certainly NOT the teachers fault.

Let's think about something: 50% of new teachers will quit after only 5 years. I am entering my 5th year of teaching, and I seriously considered leaving after my 2nd year. Every year brings new challenges and opportunity to grow professionally. Therefore, when I hear about funds being taken from the public school system and given to fund vouchers & charters, and there are even some states that allow tax deductions for those families that send their students to private school, I become passionately enraged!  Especially when research is now showing that vouchers for charters, do not show any difference in achievement or success.

I, along with my colleagues, work very very hard to teach the next generation to read, to make sense of numbers, to write coherently, to create relationships with their peers, to know what it means to be a good citizen, and many many other day-to-day activities that would take a lifetime to explain. I am continually being asked to do more, with less.  And, teachers, continue to rise to the occasion, because we are passionate about what we do!

As we come upon the dawn of a new school year, I hope that we can come together as professionals.  We must demand a seat at the table of decision making!  No longer can we sit quietly in our classrooms waiting and wondering what the next blow to public education will be! Go to meetings, find out what is happening at your state level! It is up to us! Don't be afraid of your own voice, speak up!

I appreciate any and all feedback on this topic, as it is near and dear to my heart. Do you think the school system is failing? If so, why?