Today, I signed divorce papers. In a few short weeks, a judge will sign the same papers, dissolving my marriage. This makes every cell in my body hurt. This pain is far and above any physical pain I have ever experienced. It has become an ailment that my body cannot seem to heal from... It is a scar that I will where on the deepest part of my heart, forever.
To anyone out there who has ever passed judgement on the divorced, please, think twice about ever doing it again. I never thought I would get divorced. I never thought I would sit and cry in a lawyers office, while signing away the love of my life.
This is certainly not what I want. However, I find myself wondering if it is what I need. The wise people in my life tell me it is. I have yet to believe them. Only time will tell, and I truly no longer have a choice. I wanted to sign the papers first. I couldn't bear seeing his name signed. However, I know that he will have to deal with seeing mine, and that brings deep sorrow.
One thing I am grateful for, is that Andy and I were both very kind, peaceful, and compassionate towards each other during this process. Which, naturally, makes me wonder, "why, then?". But it is, what it is.
I am divorced. It sucks.
No comments:
Post a Comment