A Life-Long Sentence

It hurts so much. I never knew how deep and dark pain could be. The most terrifying, is the fact that I don't think I have reached the bottom of this pit of anguish. It is a dark place, in my gut that thrashes, and gnaws at my spirit... It is clawing and chewing at my will to simply exist.

I hear music, and it is like the notes wake my tears from a drowsy slumber. They never really went to sleep. They are always on the surface of my being.  They rise and roll off my cheeks, into my ears, my mouth, my body... Like I am being slowly drowned...

There is no light. Only darkness. I don't want to feel like this forever, and I am so scared that that will be my fate. I don't see any other way. I just hurt all the time. I am becoming very good at faking a smile, a laugh... Faking my way through this waking life... That is no life... that is a sentence.